15th February 2012

It's the day after Valentine's Day 2012. (Love you Dave) I guess I'm not keeping up with this blog as well as I promised myself I would but the I have been soooo busy! YES - I'M STILL HERE!
They are now saying to me that my cancer is very slow growing - I wonder when they will realise that it's not growing at all! I'm still not taking any cancer drugs and just working on getting off my half sleeping tablet and one paracetemol which I take at night purely to get me off to sleep with hot flushes. I think the hot flushes may be part of what is keeping me going actually as they signify my own lack of the hormone that feeds breast cancer so actually they are of great benefit. I'm sure they will lessen if I get off the zopiclone completely though. Good old Paul McKenna is just indispensable with his 'I can make you sleep' every night.
Hey - it's spring, the sun's out, going for a walk in a minute. Can't wait to start planting stuff in my little garden which Dave has totally re landscaped for me and soon I'll be able to get out my new swing seat and sit in the sun (if I'm not too busy!) Looking back I was actually so unsure at times that I would get this far - Ann died at sixty and I will be sixty in June but one thing that has helped me mentally is 'The Secret' given to me by my psycotherapist, Rachel. It's perhaps not for everyone but look it up - it might be for you. I found that it really confirmed everything I actually believe about the universe and everything - the proof of that is in my past work. I listen to a transcript of 'The Power' daily to keep reminding myself. It helps me to raise my feelings too, especially if gloom seems to descend. Tell you what - when I first started I did as reccommended just with money and before I could turn around, circumstances brought me more cash than I have ever laid my hands on in one go! Strange but true. I've been able to help Lucy out loads and it gives me joy and she has built me a new computer - wow! It all spurs me on to do loads more. I've booked my first teaching gig abroad since before I got ill - Murano - Hooray! It's in September - can't wait!
This time last year we were in New Zealand - what a totally fabulous place - guess what - I actually climbed half way up Mount Taranaki! - 6 hours up (took my time), 2 hours down - an 8 hour walk by no means on the flat. I found myself up above where any plants could grow, way above the clouds. The curvature of the earth was dizzying - an incredible experience. I don't think I am quite that fit now - just been lazy though. Zumba tomorrow!